Olivia's Eating Issues...

So I had been mulling over this topic in my head for the last few days as to where to start, how far do I go back with talking about this, and just my angst at having this problem to begin with. So let's just start with the facts: Olivia doesn't have any issues with what she is eating. She eats all the good foods- whole grain breads, a banana every morning, fruit for lunch, broccoli, corn, carrots, other random veggies, and sometimes lettuce. She eats eggs, cheese, all kinds of pastas, loves fish, crab, other shellfish, chicken, beef or turkey meatballs, salami, and peanut butter and jelly. She also has the random trashy stuff like pop tarts and juice every now and then but for the most part she eats very healthy every day.

That's not the problem- the problem lies in how long it takes her to finish a meal. She doesn't lag at the table because she doesn't like it, she lags because she is either talking excessively or just sitting there. If I try to remove her plate she cries because she really does want to eat. So an hour after everyone else has finished their food, moved away from the table, and we have cleaned up the mess she starts to eat her food and finishes it in like 15 minutes.

I tried to set dinner at a later time figuring maybe she just wasn't hungry yet- same result. We tried to set a timer when everyone else finished their food to give her a set amount of time but it didn't really change anything. We pleaded, we gave timeouts, we offered incentives- no deal. What gives??? Who the heck knows. She just apparently wants to eat by herself and take an hour and a half to do it.

So a few days ago Dave and I decided enough was truly enough. We sat Livy down, explained that she would be getting 30 minutes from the time everyone got to the table to eat her food including her dessert. If in the 30 minutes she didn't finish her dinner or dessert then she and the food would be removed from the table and she would be fed again at the next time we ate. If she missed a few meals, then I guess she would be either hungry at the next go around or she'd just skip the meal.

That night we fed Ava first since Olivia was in a timeout in her room for biting Ava. (This is a whole other story not even worth mentioning.) Ava finished her food so we set her up on her little couch with a sucker and a movie. When Olivia came down from her room she scoped out Ava and wanted to sit with her. We told her how Ava had eaten so quickly that she was getting special privileges and that Livy would be eating with us. We started the timer and let her know we would not be talking to her or answering anything she said. In about 10 minutes Dave and I had finished and had already put our plates in the dishwasher. Liv had been picking at her spaghetti piece by piece and had eaten maybe an actual bite at this point. Since Dave needed to return a movie anyway I suggested he take Ava and just get it over with and get the movie returned. There was no point in waiting around. Liv still had 15 minutes left. So as they were putting their shoes on Livy says, "hey, wait guys I'll eat fast." So Dave asks me if they should wait. I told him no, they were ready- they should go. So Olivia says to me, "Daddy could only take one person?" I explained, "No, Daddy could have taken both of you but you are still eating." She then used her fork and started taking real bites. At the 28th minute Olivia had eaten her food.

And since that moment we have been setting the timer for 30 minutes right when we all sit down to eat. We don't speak or interact with Olivia and she has eaten all of her meals and has gotten dessert after dinner all in her 30 minutes. Again- what gives???

I think we were on the right track with the timer we just hadn't used it correctly. We were starting it after everyone left the table and giving her additional time. Now she is on our time and on time. Go figure. Next week it will probably be something else like an odd rash that won't go way. Don't these things come in 3's?

New Hair Cuts

Went to the shop and this is our results:






Both girls sat in the chair like big girls all by themselves!

Breakfast At The Park

Today we packed up our breakfast and ate it at the park. I also packed our sunscreen- thankfully this time. We needed it too. That darn sun was shining and burning. Combined with my hot coffee I was sweating. The girls on the other hand were running, swinging, climbing, and 'getting stuck in the net.' That's a game they invented where they hide on the play structure and call for help because they are stuck in the net.

Then Ava decided to climb the big rock. She shot to the top like it was a breeze. Olivia then climbed it too. She had a harder time figuring out how to turn around and sit down when she reached the top but once she did it a few times with help she mastered it by herself.

Today's been a better day. A little less arguing but still a few grunts from Ava followed by her usual "no" and she did hit Olivia in the face with her cup- unprovoked too. I think she gets irritated when Liv is doing something and not playing with her. Either way she sat in her timeout and apologized and we moved on to the next thing. I hope this ends soon. The terrible twos are way too exhausting. Even for Ava I think.

Grandma Says Goodbye:(

Grandma had to go home at some point I guess. The girls weren't so pleased with this notion. We decided we'd go to lunch and send Grandma off with a full belly and then it happened-again. Ava had another big blowout. She didn't want to go potty before we left followed with she didn't want to put her panties on when she finished. The terrible twos have arrived and decided to camp out for awhile.

These tantrums are getting worse. The screaming she directs towards Livy is getting worse. My ability to tolerate it and be patient with her is dwindling.

Ava has been getting the usual two minute timeouts. She is told how hitting hurts Livy and she apologizes when she is through with her timeouts but last night when she didn't get her way she reared her leg back and kicked Dave in his shin. She was immediately removed from the room and taken to hers for a timeout. My problem is necessarily how to punish her for her tantrums but how to prevent/ stop future tantrums. It's not like I can put her in a bubble away from the rest of society.

I know Ava is getting a grasp on her world, searching for autonomy, acquiring a sense of self control, expressing her frustration in the only way she knows how to, and I get it. Believe me. I get IT. But compounded with Olivia's never ending monologue, coping with losing a sense of myself, the stupid freaking doorknockers that come by my house everyday to impose their religious propaganda on me, and the "stuff" that I need to get done in the course of the day that gets thrown to the sidelines while breaking up these squabbles and tantrums I just want to have my own tantrum. So I did. I called Dave at work, explained that I'm going nuts, PMSing too, cried a little, and then left my office (the bathroom) with a smile on my face and went to entertain my kids.

Maybe there isn't some sort of special magic, maybe Ava just has to grow out of it, any which way you cut it someone is always on the receiving end of her tantrums. It sucks. But it is a big part of a toddler's life and I know that. Hopefully it will pass quickly and we can move on to something else. Maybe those nannies on TV can come and help us... they seem to do a good job.

4th Of July

Of course on the 4th of July we partied. The girls started their day riding bikes, driving the jeep, and playing outside with the chalk with their friends. Soon our neighbors wheeled over a cart full of chips and dip along with a cooler filled with beer. We brought out our BBQ grill and 2 other neighbors rolled theirs over. You know the saying, "if you cook it, they will come.." Well it is true. Out of the woodwork flocked all of the neighbors with different kinds of meat, potato salad, corn, macaroni and cheese, you name it we had it. Lawn chairs were strung out all over the place. It was wonderful. No one ever had to worry about drinking and driving since we all live here.

Grandma baked us a peach pie from the bag of peaches a neighbor had brought us. She whipped it up like it was no sweat. Some woman came walking down the street and handed out flags- big ones and small ones- in celebration of the 4th. Fireworks appeared as if from nowhere. Great day. Very simple and easy.

The gang of neighbor kids waiting to see the show...

Ava loved the flashing lights at first...

and then she wanted her eyes covered so the fireworks could not see her. Liv loved them from start to finish and wanted to see more. Ava asked, "I bite them candy?" after each firework ended.


Grandma had a great time with her Grandbabies!

The Outting

Today we visited the CA Academy Of Science in Golden Gate Park. We took the BART and the Muni to get there so it took us probably an hour and a half. During the BART ride Ava wanted to get out of the stroller so we took her out but then she needed to get back in so we could transfer to the Muni. Ava didn't feel the same way about the transfer that we did and she had a major blowout. It was lovely. Although Dave and I were both mortified by the outburst, the doors opened and we were free to escape the embarrassment. Thankfully.

After the chaos was finished we arrived at the CAOS and ate lunch. That put everyone in a good mood and we were off to see the aquarium. The girls loved looking at all the big fish and being able to touch the starfish. Dave got to see an old buddy of his who's a volunteer there so it was nice that he could talk to the girls about the starfish and their habitat.

After the aquarium we went into the rain forest exhibit and felt the humidity and the butterflies on our shirts. Olivia loved loved loved the butterflies.

After the elevator ride down we went to see the penguins and the rest of the African exhibit and then we headed home. Ava fell asleep on the Muni and didn't wake up until we got in the car at our BART stop.

Olivia was nervous about Ava and I sitting in front of the Muni while she sat with Dave and Grandma in the back. She was worried we wouldn't get off at the same stop as she did. Grandma said she never stopped talking about it. Ever since we went to Denver for the funeral Olivia has been very worried about me leaving and not coming back. She asks me at least once a day if I'm staying home. She tells me she loves me repeatedly and has become very clingy. I know in a while she'll understand but I feel sad for her that she even feels she needs to worry about it.

Once we were off the Muni and together again Olivia felt better. She started in on her usual chatting away which went on and on until we got home. Thankfully Grandma had to take the brunt of this one and listen to all of her stories. Sometimes I'm just done hearing it. I know that sounds bad but the girl just doesn't stop talking-ever. I'm thinking ear plugs... is that wrong?

So that was our journey for the day. We ate dinner and went to bed-literally. We were all exhausted.

Grandma B's Visit

Grandma B arrived late Wednesday night. The girls were already asleep so they didn't get to see her. When they woke up in the morning they ran right passed her and into my room. I told Ava that Grandma was sleeping and to go get her. Off she ran squealing all the way.

We all got up, went downstairs for some blueberry pancakes, and headed off to the strawberry fields. Grandma was excited to pick blackberries and strawberries with the girls. We walked all through the fields Ava ate her way down the rows and we picked big plump juicy berries.





Afterwards we came home and went swimming in our little pool.

Ava went to bed shortly afterwards since she was full from all of the fruit.

Olivia on the other hand had to eat lunch because she actually put the fruit she picked in the basket. And there's where the problems began again. I will post about this as a whole other topic later but Olivia has decided that she doesn't want to eat her food in an appropriate period of time. She has been taking up to 2 hours to eat a small plate of food.

So we waited, waited some more, took her privileges away, told her she would be going to bed, and finally just sent her to bed. Obviously Liv didn't care. She went to bed and went to sleep.

The girls got up from their naps a few hours later and tried on the new dresses that Grandma had brought with her.

Then we went to a buffet. Olivia had no problems eating there. She ate everything on her plate. Ava did as well but by the looks of her that's pretty obvious. Grandma ate crab legs with daddy. They were loving it.

We came home and got the dog and took her for a walk to find pennies. We came home with about 17 cents so it was fun for the girls and good exercise for the dog. That was the end of day 1 with Grandma and it was a pretty good day at that.